And we’re here again with a brand new story.

So there’s this Prince Charming, right? And obviously a Snow White. You know the rest of the story.

She doesn’t go „BOOM!” or anything but they don’t get to live happily ever after because two new wild characters appear, Crooked boobs and Awesome boobs, and kick Snow White in the head, then tie her up and call the russian mafia so they take her away and sell her organs on the black market. They obviously get a part of the money which will be split three ways (because they’re friends with Prince Charming) and they get drunk and fall asleep in a moat. When they wake up, they have no idea whatsoever about what happened and they go on with their lives. The wild piano suddenly falls down from the sky but it misses and they live. HA! You didn’t see that coming, right?


Karma is a bitch.



Zehn kleine Jägermeister


Ein kleiner Jägermeister war nicht gern allein
Drum lud er sich zum Weihnachtsfest neun Jägermeister ein
Zehn kleine Jägermeister rauchten einen Joint
Den einen hat es umgehaun, da waren’s nur noch neun
Neun kleine Jägermeister wollten gerne erben
Damit es was zu erben gab, musste einer sterben
Acht kleine Jägermeister fuhren gerne schnell
Sieben fuhr’n nach Düsseldorf, einer fuhr nach Köln

Refrain: Einer für alle, alle für einen
Wenn einer fort ist, wer wird denn gleich weinen
Einmal trifft’s jeden, Ärger’ dich nicht
So geht’s im Leben, du oder ich

Sieben kleine Jägermeister war’n beim Rendezvous
Bei einem kam ganz unverhofft der Ehemann hinzu
Sechs kleine Jägermeister wollten Steuern sparen
Einer wurde eingelocht, fünf durften nachbezahlen
Fünf kleine Jägermeister wurden kontrolliert
Ein Polizist nahm’s zu genau, da war’n sie noch zu viert


Einmal muss jeder gehn
Und wenn dein Herz zerbricht
Davon wird die Welt nicht untergehn
Mensch Ärger dich nicht

Vier kleine Jägermeister bei der Bundeswehr
Sie tranken um die Wette, den Besten gibts nicht mehr
Drei kleine Jägermeister gingen ins Lokal
Dort gab’s zwei Steaks mit Bohnen und eins mit Rinderwahn
Zwei kleine Jägermeister baten um Asyl
Einer wurde angenommen, der andere war zuviel


Ein kleiner Jägermeister war nicht gern allein
Drum lud er sich zum Osterfest neun neue Meister ein1

Die neue Hymne der Kixtopia

Playboy bunnies in the house!

So there was this wild college party where most of the people were nerds (I know..nerds..partying..don’t fit, but in my story they do just fine).

Everyone was dancing, right? Suddenly the time stops and the slow motion entrance begins. Two freaking Playboy Bunnies walk in. I bet you guys think that the nerds were already drooling all over, right? They didn’t.

And then the Playboy bunnies were so upset that their heads exploded.

The end.

Another morning with Andreas…

Random hangover-ish morning, chilling with Andreas (the exquisite sir) in the kitchen, talking about creating a new world. A land of pink grass, diamond paths and unicorns that poop rainbow cupcakes. As I was describing this stoner world, Andreas suddenly interrupts me and says „wooooah..that’s why there is so much sand at the seaside!” … WTF??

Do you guys have friends that interrupt you for no reason and say something totally unrelated to the subject you guys were debating?

Don’t you ever mess with Kixtopia.

There was this unussual couple, S.J and little Josephine. They weren’t in love, but they stuck together and somehow they managed to fuck each others lives on a daily basis. S.J was a cheating bastard and Josephine was this weird little chick that longed for a career as a model.

Josephine found S.J on some weird chatroom for psychos and she thought they could match. As most of you know, „birds of a feather flock together”. Some said they were perfect for each other..but..were they? She thought no man was born wise but S.J was a lying, obnoxious, slow-minded By-blow and a little bird told me Josephine wasn’t much different from him as she was this narcissistic, obnoxious, revengeful Turd.

I’d say they were meant to be together forever.

One day, as they were heading to a party in a well-known pub, called Jen-iz-hoe, they participated to this awesome contest sponsored by Kixtopia and Life 2.1. They, obviously, won the first prize, 1.000.000 $, but as they were waiting to get the prize, suddenly, a horny piano fell from the sky to shag Josephine. S.J tried to get some help but a wild train going ”Choo-Chooooo!” appeared and S.J was like „well, isn’t this nice..” and… then he went „Boom!”.

The obvious end.

P.s. don’t give us feedback as „DAFUQ did I just read?”. Kixtopia will send the piano over to your house and shag every object you own.